Lucy's Birthday Story

Well, Lucy FINALLY made her grand appearance!  I’m so excited to share the most difficult/ most rewarding experience of my life.   First, to start off I’d like to say that the hardest part from pregnancy to delivery was being 12 days “over” my due date.  Jesse and I had come to terms with the fact that we could wait til I was 41 1/7 weeks because “that’s actual full gestation”, yada yada.  BUT, when that day came and went…it was definitely a trial of patience.  Not to mention, every single person we saw/ talked to were asking us “when is that baby coming?” or “you look like you’re about to EXPLODE!”  Seriously, if there’s one lesson that the human race needs to learn it’s what to say and not say to a pregnant woman.  But, I do know that everyone was just excited for us and I can say I never knew people really cared that much, so thank you.. most of you.  J

                So, onto the main event.  Well, I thought all week that I had been having contractions; they felt like Braxton hicks (tummy rock hard) accompanied with cramps and back pain.  But, when I woke up Thursday (the 26^th) with pains that felt a little bit different  than normal cramps..I was excited nonetheless.  I had learned to not waste my energy, and that I probably had a good 24 hours ahead of me.  So we just lived business as usual.  After a full day of Frisbee golf, lunch with friends, movie watching (me and my bf Paige watched Breaking Dawn, what a stupid movie to watch while you’re pretty sure you’re in labor.. lol), fixing our swamp cooler, etc.  My contractions were strong enough that I couldn’t really do or say anything else while I was having one. (REALLY GOOD AND EXCITING SIGN!) 

                Around 7 pm I texted my midwife, Chris Miller, and told her that contractions had been 1 minute long, 7-8 minutes apart for about 3 hours.  She advised that I take a long bath, watch a movie, eat, etc.  So that’s what we did.  After a movie I was starting to get really uncomfortable.  So I asked if she could send out her student midwife/ assistant, Tina.  Tina is amazing and knows her stuff!  She has the sweetest, softest voice and touch.  She came over at about 9 pm and I was dilated to a 3.  She said to go ahead and try to sleep and eat while I still could.  For the next 6 hours Jesse and I tried using all of the laboring positions we had learned in class.  We tried leaning on the couch, laying down, kneeling, etc.  All that time Jesse was doing hip squeezes or pushing really hard on my back.  Poor Jesse!  I really don’t know how I would’ve labored without him.  At one point in the night I decided to get in the shower and said “you should try to get some sleep while I’m in here.”  Without blinking an eye he closed the bathroom door.  When I came out he was just passed out on the floor.  J  Such a sweet husband. 

Well, finally around 3 Jesse called Tina and told her that I had just thrown up and that my contractions were getting really close together.  She came right over and they continued to do hip squeezes, etc.  I think it was about 4 a.m. when we called my mom, and of course she came right over, having had her bags packed for weeks.  My brother that lives across the street from my parents, Josh, called my mom as she was on her way and told her to tell me “good luck, I’m sure you’ve got it under control.”  My dad also said to tell me that “papa bear is cheering me on!”  I have a really cute and supportive family. 

You might be wondering where my actual midwife is this whole time.  Apparently when she shows up to a birth, the women get a little too excited and anxious and can actually stall their labor, so Chris didn’t actually show up til about 9 a.m. Friday morning, so I had been in pretty hard labor for about 14 hours by then.  By that time we had a little incident with the birthing pool.  My husband had cleaned our semi new hose and had it all ready to fill up the pool but when we had scalding hot water running through it, the hose starting disintegrating into the water…. That is not ok to birth in.  J So there was this big ordeal with my mom running to Walmart at 5 in the morning (just realized how funny that is, the walmart workers were probably thinking “lady, really hoses?  You had to come to the store to get hoses right now?”  haha funny.  So eventually they drained the yucky water, cleaned out the pool, and had it full with nice, hot water.  The difference between contracting, lying on our bed and contracting in the water is indescribable.  I fully think that water is nature’s epidural.  Yes, I could still feel them; yes they were painful, but just so much more manageable in the water. 

So I was just lying there in the water, falling in and out of sleep, taking the contractions one at a time.  In my class they didn’t teach us how to breathe, like they do in the Lamaze classes.  Dr. Bradley was quoted saying “you’ve been breathing your whole life.  I think you’re probably pretty good at it by now.”  Which I love, but I’ve never been so focused on breathing, ever in my life.  Taking deep breaths with every contraction really is what kept me so relaxed.  But, this really weird thing happened.  I had my arms up on the side of the pool, with my head resting back on it, so I’m looking up at the ceiling, does that make sense?  Anyways, I woke up with one contraction and realized that I couldn’t feel my arms and legs.  My face, hands, fingers and legs felt tingly and numb.  I got so freaked out and just mentioned it sleepily to my midwife and she said that my endorphins were kicking in.  My body was actually numbing itself.  Amazing.  Too bad it didn’t numb me where I was ACTUALLY in pain, but kind of cool nonetheless.  However, when I decided to change positions I really couldn’t move my fingers for a good hour or so.  They were just crippled and I got so scared that I wasn’t going to be able to hold my baby.  It did eventually go away like Chris and Tina said it would.

Well, I eventually came to a point after the transition stage where my contractions stopped completely and I was able to sort of catch my breath.  I ate a little bit, oh I forgot to mention that I threw up a total of 3 times during labor, but I was able to request a bowl and do it in a semi dignified manner, wait who am I kidding?  How less dignified can I person be when they are upchucking?  Sorry, a little graphic, but at least I wasn’t aspirating or getting it all over.  ANYWAYS, I was just like hanging out in the pool at this point fully effaced and dilated, but my water was still intact.  I even sat back and looked at everyone there and was just like “Hey guys, how’s it going?”  Funny.

Chris asked if I would like her to break my water, because normally with natural births, it’ll just break on its own.  I said, “yes” because I was tired and hungry.  J  But, it still took a while for my body to figure out what just happened because I started having contractions again but no urge to push.  At this point they just left me and jesse alone on our bed and he just held me and whispered how great I was doing and how amazing he thinks I am.  I have to say that everyone with me was constantly reassuring me and telling me that I was doing such a great job.  It was so great to have such support in such a trying moment in my life. 

Here comes the part that I am glad I could not see myself, because I was being such a baby and so unlike myself.  I started getting the urge to push and basically was told that it’ll feel like a big poop and to just push as hard as I can.  They asked me to think of the most angry I’ve ever been and to play on that.  Jesse, my mom and I were all thinking… hmm… Kayla mad…  It’s weird but I honestly cannot think of a time when I have been mad… until now.  I’m lying there trying to push like a big poo is coming out and it’s really uncomfortable and everyone is just there watching and I sort of cry out “ow, ow.”  And Chris just says “don’t say ow, hold that breath and push.”  She was like mocking me and I wanted to punch her in the face.  But she, of course, knew what she was doing and after a few good pushes I could feel myself kind of stretching down there.  Chris then says, “I see a full head of hair.” 

OH GOODNESS!!  So exciting!  It was game on after that.  I had planned on being in the pool to push her out but I was just so excited that we just stayed on the bed (it was fully covered with plastic, extra sheet and medical pads).  They had jesse go down by my legs and I was holding my moms hands.  They told Jesse to tell me what he saw, but he had tears in his eyes and was speechless.  Jesse doesn’t cry very easily and normally gets woozy when it comes to blood, hospitals, etc.  The look on his face made me know that he was witnessing a miracle and that I could do this! 

Caution it’s about to get a little bit more personal so skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to hear some details.  So I learned when you’re pushing that once you feel the “ring of fire” to slow down on your pushing, or else you’re going to tear.  I had no idea how painful it was going to be.  This is by far the most pain I’ve ever felt and at that moment I thought “I am NEVER doing this again.”  But I did as I was taught and even though I had the urge to push way hard, I just eased her out little by little.  I DIDN’T TEAR!!!  Amazing!!!

At 2:35 pm Friday April 27^th, with one last good push she was out, Jesse caught her and we just laid her on my belly.  Jesse laid next to us and we started out our little family, cuddling.  That might sound really cheesy but it was by far THE BEST moment that Jesse and I have spent together.  Lucy was just so sweet from the very beginning.  She yelped a couple times when she came out and then was perfectly content and quiet.  She had her eyes wide open and was just staring at jesse and I.  No ointment on the eyes, no suctioning out her nose and mouth, no rubbing all of the amazing vernix off of her.  Just her, me and jesse and the most sacred and peaceful moment I’ve ever experienced.

Then the afterbirth part, Jesse got to cut the cord, I didn’t think he would but that makes two of us being brave that night… I guess 3, Lucy is pretty brave to come out in this world.  Afterbirth was pretty uncomfortable in itself.  Then,  Jesse and Chris took Lucy into the bathroom to wash her hair.  By that time the vernix (white creamy substance on her skin) was soaked in, it’s just like nature’s power lotion.  She latched on like a champ and then Jesse got to dress her for the very first time.  She has been just the most amazing thing ever!  Nursing was rocky for a couple days, and as was to be expected our nights and days are all mixed up.  But we feel so blessed by this little girl.  She has the sweetest little cry in the world, already smiles a ton, and is just so happy.

My labor was a total of about 19 hours long.  At one point in labor, I asked Chris if “she could just reach in and pull her out.”  She of course said, “well we could transfer to the hospital and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to vacuum her out, but you’ll regret it.”  Chris said that she’s almost certain that if I had gone to the hospital, there would probably have been a lot of interventions.  And I can understand now that when you are so tired and hungry and just done with the whole thing, that having someone get that baby out of you sounds like the best option.  But I was able to birth an 8.5 lb baby that’s 20.5 inches long, completely by myself.  During labor Chris asked me “if I’ve ever ran a marathon”, I said “no,” she replied “well, you just did.”  And it’s SO TRUE!  Things that I never dreamt  I could accomplish, especially running a marathon, seem so reachable now.  I honestly feel so empowered and that if I can birth this baby and endure 19 hours of pain, and do it while keeping calm, I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!   Including being the best mom I can be.  My husband has so much more respect for me now.  He’s told me so many times how proud he is of me.  And I in turn, know that I could not have done it without him (lol, literally… get it? ...start to finish.. haha).  He was there the entire time, rubbing my back, pushing so hard on my hips, giving me water and chapstick, making sure the water was a comfortable temperature, whispering encouragements, catching her and cutting the cord which is way out of his usual comfort zone, and I know he’ll be there for me and Lucy ALWAYS.  We are officially a team and I love and appreciate him more than I ever have.

So yes, natural childbirth is pretty darn painful.  But, that was the only downside.  I was able to be in my own home, surrounded only by people I love and respect so much.  I was able to take as long as Lucy and I needed.  I was able to sit in a nice warm pool and be waited on hand and foot.  I was given constant encouragement and cheered on the entire time.  I was able to get up and move around as much as I wanted to.  Jesse didn’t have to fight with nurses or doctors about things that we did or did not want.  It was so peaceful and comfortable the entire time.  Lucy was born when she was good and ready to be born.  She was held by her mom and dad from the absolute beginning.  I was able to drink as much water as I wanted, which was a lot of water!  I could have eaten anything I wanted, I didn’t feel like eating anything though.  The only intervention I had was my water being broken, which I really hadn’t planned on, but I was respected and asked if I wanted it done, I knew that it would speed things up, but also that it would make my contractions way more intense, I wouldn’t change my decision at all. 

In the end, I understand why women go to the hospital and get an epidural because childbirth is pretty painful.  But, once it was over, there was like zero  pain.  Obviously my bones trying to get back into place is painful but that’s it.  I feel so great!!  Yes, I plan on having all of my children at home and I now know that I can do it.  I believe that 90% of women can have a homebirth if they want it.  The trick is not psyching yourself out and asking “what ifs” or letting every single person make you feel that you are either a hippy or just plain crazy.  I am not some marathon runner or a completely organic, healthy person.  I am just a normal woman who decided to try what women have been doing forever.  God made me for this and I’m amazed that I actually did it! 

Oh and since I’m now a mom, I guess I have bragging rights for my child.  She got a 10 on her apgar score, at 2 and 5 minutes.  We are so HAPPY!!!